The Chickie Sammy Challenge
It isn’t a challenge, but Chickie Sammy Taste Test isn’t a good title. I just bought chicken sandwiches from a few fast food places and tried them all. Below are my very important thoughts.
First, story and set-up. The McChicken is the best thing on the McDonald’s menu. If you disagree, that’s okay— you’re just wrong. It’s only $1 and probably the only thing capable of making warm mayo palatable. My buddy Zach agrees, so in the interest of science we decided to narrow down the best bang-for-your-buck McChicken-class sandwich.
A few nights ago we went to McDonald’s, Wendy’s and Burger King and ordered the cheapest chicken sandwich from each place, then ate and ranked them accordingly. The contenders: McDonald’s tried and true McChicken, the King’s Chicken Jr., and Dave’s Wendy’s Chicken Sandwich. In order to keep things fair, we organized a highly complex method of ordering the sammies. I had the car, so I dropped Zach off at Wendy’s, made the Burger King run, and then we met up at the McDonald’s across the street. All sammies were purchased within 5 minutes of each other, meaning none were old or cold, and all were consumed at the same time, meaning memory was fresh for each.
Overall, the results were interesting. McDonald’s really came out swinging. The McChicken is a culinary masterpiece. A perfect food. Wendy’s, on the other hand, was a complete and utter disappointment. Now, I try not to get political on this blog, but Wendy’s is to food what forklifts are also to food. It isn’t. The Wendy’s chickie sammie is a sadness food, just a mish-mash of soft bread and chicken patty that makes me think “wow, this isn’t very good and also I am going to die one day.” Burger King’s Chicken Jr. was a fun surprise, however. It was $1.19, but the bun came adorned with seeds of the sesame. The trade-off meant a net zero gain to me.
The winner, however, was something thus far unmentioned. A surprise dark horse. Dark chicken. You see, below the deepest dungeon of the Burger King’s castle there exists a secret library filled with forbidden knowledge. Hidden amongst the books is a round table akin to the table of King Arthur of legend. Seated around said table are various knights from all over the Kingdom of Burger. These knights make up the King’s cabinet, and as such are responsible for the inception of some of the Kingdom’s most interesting and unique creations. Sometimes they really put their heads together and create something truly unique and special, like chicken fries or the impossible whopper. And sometimes they say “hey let’s put spicy sauce on the Chicken Jr.”
Let me tell you— that was a good decision. The Spicy Chicken Jr. is just a Chicken Jr. but spicy, something I cannot believe no other quick service restaurants have thought of. It’s so simple, but so magical.
The rankings ended up as follows:
1. The Spicy Chicken Jr.
2. The McChicken
3. The Chicken Jr.
4. Wendy’s Mistake
Anyway, for those of you that celebrate something this time of year, happy holidays. For those of you that don’t, happy Wendesday.